I know that I may be both but it’s time, no it’s’ beyond time. When I begin to wonder back I see years behind me that could have taken any number of turns and then I come to terms with the fact that right now, this is where I am.
What will this mean for me, am I going to become one of those crazy single mom’s? Or will I hermit myself and dedicate every waking moment to my yoga and my children? For some reason I like the fact that that I will have the choice.
My practice has always been one thing that has always been there for me. Through my pregnancies, c-section, weight gain and loss, studio opening and closing, a marriage, relationships and when everything else seems out of control, my practice is there.
If I can’t make a pose possible or break it down mentally then it’s all on me, it’s not about someone else in my way holding me back, showering my environment with negativity or in any other way telling me it’s not possible.
My choice. My limits. My independence. My practice is forgiving, accepting and relentless.
My countdown has begun exactly one week from today my significant other will be moving out and life will begin to change—slowly at first. But gradually, I will continue to blossom into my own beautiful lotus, embracing change, awakening to my intuitive self and allowing at most minimally restricted svadyaya (self study).