7 Reasons Why You Should Never Start a Yoga Practice

Yoga sounds like a divine miracle.

How many activities can you name that have a positive impact on your health, fitness, and stress levels? Even so, yoga isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Here are seven reasons you shouldn't even think about starting a yoga practice. 

7 Reasons Why You Should Never Start a Yoga Practice

1. You will tame your ego

Yogis and yoginis have a quiet mind. The ego is the voice inside your head that never shuts up. Yoga enables you to access a calm and quiet place. Having a monkey mind keeps you company, so as you start to quiet down, don’t back away because it feels lonely. Just give it a try. 

2. You will begin to hate junk food

Yogis and yoginis develop body awareness. They notice how different foods influence their mood and energy levels. This knowledge is a curse in disguise. As soon as you realize how much Big Macs upset your stomach, you'll never desire McDonald's again. 

3. You will become too goody goody

Yogis and yoginis become more upbeat and positive. They don't gossip. They don't start rumors. They don't argue with people online. They only speak when they have something nice to say. Your good vibes will make your friends and co-workers wonder what the crap happened to you.

4. You will learn a lot about yourself

Yogis and yoginis reflect about their true nature. They often meditate and write a journal entry after their yoga practice. This is revealing for people with addictive personalities. You might uncover triggers that make you want to eat chips, smoke cigarettes, or do whatever compulsive thing you like to do. Changing your habits is hard.

5. You will be more content with life 

Yogis and yoginis learn to detach from the outcome. They understand life is like a rollercoaster. It contains ups, downs, twists, and turns that can rock your emotional being. Yoga teaches you to be less reactive to whatever turbulence the Universe throws at you. This is hard for control freaks to swallow. Letting go is too easy. Better to put up a fight. 

6. You will have less time for television

Yogis and yoginis are dedicated to their practice. They have jobs, families, hobbies, and responsibilities just like you. There is no way to dedicate every moment of the day to yoga. Sacrifices are necessary. If you're a busy person, it will be tough to fit yoga into your life. You might have to spend less time watching sitcoms and reality TV shows. Is it worth it?

7. You will have less tolerance for drama

Yogis and yoginis love how blissed out they feel after yoga class. They don't like drama. That messes up their mojo. Yoga might make you realize some of your friends are negative influences. The more you become mindful, the more you will discover their energy rubs off on you... for better or worse. Sound like a nightmare? Never do yoga. Stay ignorant.  

Don't start a yoga practice. It will change you too much. 

In case you missed it, this blog was 100% sarcastic. Yoga is fantastic. It changed my life in more ways than I can count. Some people learn best through humor, so I chose to be silly. If this post made you laugh, please share with your friends on Facebook and Twitter. 

Photo via iStock.

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Daniel Wallen is the author of Do Yoga Every Damn Day. Visit www.thewallenway.com/do-yoga to get your copy for less than the price of a pumpkin spice latte.